As a business professor and a father, I have gained invaluable insights from my two-year-old and seven-year-old daughters, who have taught me about the selfish nature of communication in children. In contrast, my interactions with college students have been life-changing, as they engage with wisdom and recognize the futility of ego and selfishness (I also teach two classes in the Florida prison system). My experiences have highlighted the importance of authentic and humble communication in leadership. As John Maxwell asserts in “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect,” “The ability to connect with others begins with understanding the value of people.” Therefore, leaders must shift their focus from themselves to others, prioritizing genuine connection and engagement. It’s not about us; it’s about them.

In a recent conversation with a mechanically successful and financially driven Entrepreneur, I brought up the importance of being vulnerable and admitting mistakes and weaknesses in leadership. He challenged this notion, stating that a leader should never appear weak and should never let their people see them sweat. I simply told him that, “The people you lead already know your weaknesses. Admitting your weaknesses lets them know that you are also aware.” Obviously, this builds trust and authenticity.

Leadership is often associated with strength, decisiveness, and an unwavering sense of direction. But, as studies have shown, vulnerability and authenticity inspire trust and loyalty among team members. Admitting one’s weaknesses is a way to demonstrate that one is human, approachable, and willing to learn from mistakes. Moreover, Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, says, “Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”

My leadership coach, Christina Watson, once shared some valuable advice with me that has stayed with me to this day. She said, “Whenever you are in front of someone, always ask yourself, ‘How can I help this person?'” This simple shift in mindset takes your focus off of yourself and directs it towards the other person, allowing you to connect with them more effectively and build meaningful relationships. By leading with a genuine desire to serve others, you not only enhance your communication skills but also your leadership abilities.

Unleashing the Power of Passion in Your Communication: Connecting with Others on a Deeper Level

As an educator, I have seen firsthand the transformative power of communication skills in the classroom. With access to the world’s best speakers and masterclasses at their fingertips, students today are more discerning than ever about the quality of the communication they receive. Therefore, it is incumbent upon us as educators to improve our communication skills and teach our students how to communicate more effectively and connect with others in meaningful ways. Connecting through heart-centered communication effectively is critical for success in the classroom and beyond.

Connecting with others is about more than just disseminating information or conveying knowledge. It’s about making people feel like you are speaking with them and not just to them. I learned this the hard way in my own company. If I provided my employees with the necessary information, they would feel connected to the mission and work hard to achieve it. But I soon realized that people want to feel valued and heard. They want to feel like their input matters and that they are a part of something bigger than themselves.

Also, I know that group messaging has become more and more of a norm. Effective leadership is not just about sending messages; it’s about connecting with others, building relationships, and inspiring trust. Relying solely on group app messages can create a false sense of productivity and neglect the deeper communication necessary for success. For more on this, see: The Power of the Human Voice: How Phone Conversations Strengthen Relationships in an Era of Digital Communication

Research supports the idea that leaders who admit their mistakes and vulnerabilities are viewed as more authentic and trustworthy. According to a study published in the Journal of Business and Psychology, employees perceived leaders who were open and transparent about their weaknesses and mistakes as more trustworthy and effective than leaders who were defensive or tried to hide their imperfections.

“Dear speaker, your ego has become a wall between yourself and me” -Calvin Miller The Empowered Communicator

The lesson here is that communication is more than just getting our message across. It’s about building relationships and creating a sense of community. It’s about showing others that we value them and care about what they have to say. I’ve seen firsthand the power of authentic and humble communication in the prison system. I’ve had students serving -long and hard time– teach me about leadership and communication. They understand the importance of building relationships and trust because they know the consequences of not doing so. They have taught me to be a better listener and to put myself in the shoes of others.

In conclusion, authentic and humble communication is key to effective leadership. It’s not about being perfect or having all the answers. It’s about being vulnerable, admitting mistakes and weaknesses, and valuing the input of others. It’s about building relationships, creating a sense of community, and understanding the value of people. As John Maxwell says, “Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.” Let’s strive to be leaders who connect with others in an authentic and humble way, and we will see the results in increased trust, engagement, and success.

“Those who build great companies understand that the ultimate throttle on growth for any great company is not markets, or technology, or competition, or products. It is one thing above all others: the ability to get and keep enough of the right people.”

– Jim Collins Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t

In an Episode of The Dr. Claude Kershner Show, listen to Christina Watson share about Leading Yourself & Others with Purpose